Notes from DAYS 20-21, Body/Mind Cleanse - NO FOOD

Day 20

-It’s around 6:30am

-I’m doing very well. Slept a peaceful night and can’t remember any dreams.

-Look forward to this beautiful day.

-No tiredness

-Very creative – happliy designing today

-Yurai commented that the whites of my eyes are clearer, and so too, is my skin, and lighter also. My brother also noticed that.

-Bowel movement midday – odd. Wasn’t quiet solid, but not the runs either. Forgot to mention this altogether in previous days, though it has been consistent (daily) since the weekend.

I did have a lot of milk over the two days in my lattes, and as well as a spoon of French onion soup broth, and the broth from the shrimp.  Most importantly though, I feel I’m getting rid of stuff that is no longer serving me, that’s been stuck in my body. More decisions being made, and moving forward, feeling good.

I feel progression, especially with my emotions. At the beginning of the cleanse, I was seeing clearly how my need for food was tied to feelings, and not necessarily hunger. That became more evident around the second week of the cleanse, and especially around my period.

The amazing thing is that I experienced such strong anger today that I haven’t in a long time. Initially I did do EFT for it, but I’m finding I have less and less need for it. AND- big win – I didn’t even think about food when I was really angry. An amazing step forward, and why I would like to carry on with the cleanse to 30 days, it feels like the way for me.

I like this feeling, I like this new programming, and would like to save it into my subconscious before moving back to food.

I’m excited and curious about the path ahead.

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Day 21 – What was to be the last day :) 

-It’s about 6am or so. Finished water meditation, with a candle beside me, as the sun hasn’t poked out yet.

-Feeling very much at peace.

-Slept early last night, and though I don’t remember any of it, Yurai said I was talking in my sleep. I was helping solve some woman’s problems, though he doesn’t remember any of the conversation, I had clearly said a name of Japanese or Chinese descent. Interesting. 
-Bowel "movement" again, but no formation, rather clear, and liquidy, and very airy!! Still letting go of stuff, but all in all, everything is clearer. 

Today is the last day of my cleanse, technically, but as I’ve been foreshadowing, I’m up for another 9 days, taking me up to 30 days.

And over the next 9 days, I intend to prepare to eat. The last time I came out of the 21 day cleanse, I paid no attention to what I was eating and put any and everything in my beautiful body, taking her very much for granted. My first meal was the infamous Slovak duck and cabbage- made by a dear friend- and so very tasty, though I'll be doing things different this time around. 

My breakfast concoction ;) 

I envisage Ayurvedic khichari, (Indian lentils with rice) for it's healing properties, with lots of ginger and tumeric, salads of homemade grown sprouts and legumes, (which I'll start prepping in a few days), juices, and soups. Also, I really wish to make everything from scratch. I love food, all of it, bread included. I went gluten free for a long time, and I don’t care for it anymore. I look forward to baking my own breads, ciabattas, foccacia’s what not. :)
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I spent a few hours designing a skirt after writing the above, and then moved onto making Yurai breakfast. It was like a cake, layered with cheesey (very mature cheddar), scrambled eggs, caramelised onions, thinly sliced courgette, and mashed potato. As I was in creative mode, I covered it all with a combination of goat cheese, walnuts, garlic, & thyme. Needless to say, I don't always get it right, (especially when not tasting!!), and in the end, I did a makeover, scraping off the outer layer, which served as the perfect snack for Yurai later in the day. 

And, I made potato chips for the first time! Loving food, loving playing, and  look forward to cooking and eating together again. 

Went out last night to a book launch. It was nice, packed, a very artsy fartsy crowd - but overwhelming for me. I ducked out early, which I'm happy about - listening to my intuition comes more naturally these days. 
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Guys, whoever you are that's reading my rambles, I thank you sincerely. 

If ever you've got questions about this cleanse or food in general, do ask. I've been through the whole gamut of food related issues, and have never felt more free. 

Much peace and love <3

Notes from DAYS 16-19, Body/Mind Cleanse - NO FOOD

DAY 16

                                                                 OMG OMG OMG!

French Onion soup w/ Brioche & 3 types of cheese

I’m sitting in the kitchen at Yurai’s parents waiting to start cooking. :)

Yesterday was just phenomenol. I was in the vortex all day long. (In my element).

Everyone’s still sleeping (it’s before 6am), and already I prolonged in bed for about an hour, trying to convince myself to rest. Alas, my excitement gets the best of me.

I thought it was later than it is, as it’s overcast outside, but no, sunrise hasn’t occurred yet. I was already downstairs, just after 5:30am (?!?).

Fist time ever- homemade Brioche

I feel as light as a feather, really really good, not having eaten for two weeks now.

Despite finally being in touch with beautiful food, I’ve had no desire to eat anything. Although, I must admit, the one thing that went straight to my blood upon opening yesterday was NOT the raw chocolate cake, NOT the gourmet bread snacks I’d made for everyone, nor the thought of the brioche I’m baking….It was bryndza, (traditional Slovak cheese). I think it’s official, it is my favorite food in the world!

Asparagus wrapped in prosciutto w/ homemade mayo

Later in the day: 

It was so brilliant and I was full steam ahead until around 3pm, when I finally sat down and closed my eyes. Even still, sleep evaded me. I rested my body for a few mins and then was back up, prepping French bowls of French onion soup for taking pictures.

Throughout the day, I had two coffees, one with and one without milk, maybe even three.

I did taste the French onion soup broth, as well as the shrimp broth, which was piled on top of the beautiful risotto that Yurai made. They were amazing, and still no desire to eat.

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It’s just after 8pm, and we returned home a short while ago.

What a weekend of creativity….I played and played and played with food.

Spinach salad with all kinds of surprises :) 

I’m still full of energy, but calm, if that makes sense.

I have no desire for food, no ill effects, no headaches, no muscle spasms, no dizziness.

Being in my element was a huge shift. Nothing mattered but creating beautiful food, and giving everyone a little piece of my heart through it.

Upon arriving home, I went straight to my bean plants (I have 17 of them around the flat ;) ), and sure enough some had wilted. I watered them immediately, apologizing & went straight into ‘Ho’oponopono,’ (repeating: I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you), whilst hovering my hands over them, all of which was coming very naturally/intuitively to me.

Yurai's risotto, topped w/ my shrimp concoction 

The most amazing thing happened whilst doing so…I felt energy coming from the plants, (like an auric field), and especially from the one which was most wilted, so I stayed over it, a little longer. I kid you not, when I went back into the kitchen a few minutes later, it was already livening up again. :) I wish I had, but no, didn’t take pictures.

This greater sense for the energy that we are, be it sentient or not, started happening towards the end of my last 21 day cleanse, and it was so strong in my hands, to the point where I was waking up in the middle of the night, with my hands like electricity between them.

Thee best ever Raw Chocolate Cake!

It’s happening again- something I welcome very much, and if only for this incredible feeling, I’d continue on water past Friday, which marks the end of three weeks without food. I’m ever so curious to see what else awaits me, what awaits us both, Yurai and I, though we take it one day at a time. :) 

Loving this, all of it.

PS: I mentioned that through the detox process, not only was my breath horrid, but body odour was almost unbearable. Yurai and I both noticed that neither of us (after everything we did yesterday, including him playing with his nephews), stink, and our breath, doesn’t smell like an animal ate its own poo, then crawled into our mouths and died. ;)

Every day in every way, getting better, better and better. <3

DAY 17

5:45am

Been up since about 4am. Lingered in bed until I couldn’t any longer, and got up just after 5am.

Water meditation done and now, I gaze out the kitchen window, watching the sky go from a sleepy blue hue, blossoming int pink and peach, letting me know the arrival of the sun is near.

I am very much at peace, having slept wonderfully and soundly, all night through.

I awoke thinking about the food I’d cooked over the weekend, and am looking forward to possibly another cooking fest this coming weekend.

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Lost steam around 11am ish, and went back to bed. Needed that nap. Dreamt that Yurai and I were time traveling, but wearing different bodies.

All in all, tired today. Still happy with food thoughts :).  And, now that I’ve got an iron- thanks to Yurai’s parents, I’m designing :)

Ready for bed at like 8pm, though we watched "The Perks of Being A Wallflower," a truly great film, which highly resonated with me. If you haven't seen it, I do recommend it. :) 

Good news- cook fest confirmed, and I get to do it all over again in a few short days. :)

DAY 18

Awoke at 9am without a hitch! :) I had a nice long sleep with dreams all over the place. 

I have a little muscle soreness in my abs and legs (which are both stronger), and  I couldn’t place why, as I’d done much walking yesterday, and a few seconds worth of running (for a bus). But then I remembered the lovely romp we’d had in the morning. I’m in the ‘spring’ or ‘virgin’ phase of my menstrual cycle, which is full of creativity, blossoming and newness. A very fun phase ;D

Towards the end of yesterday, I was having slight stomach twinges. Had a couple of bowel movements, and I’m looking forward to releasing it all, as my belly is still holding something.

Was feeling hungry this morning, and I asked myself what I’d love to eat. A full English breakfast, thank you very much. :) So I went on Pinterest, and ingested some beautiful pictures. Enough. :)

I’m thinking to myself that being close to the end of my three weeks without food, I’d like to go to the next level and do 30 days. Let’s see.

10:30am and feeling good, at peace, and looking forward to today. 
Spent much of the day in quietness, in mediation. Seems I needed it. 

DAY 19

Approx 6:30am

Out of bed and refreshed! 

Slept very wallets night and dreamt about food.

Did water meditation, with my sewing machine sitting directly in front of me, and got an idea for a dress. 

I think my new food blog, "Food is the Way, My Way," will be about food and designing...OR I'll leave the design stuff for here. 

I Fell into a semi sleep whilst listening to a podcast, and had some pretty significant dreams.

1- I was in my bedroom, feeling woozy, having gotten out of bed and fainted.

2- I saw a spoon of honey.  

3- Again, the essence of a person from my past was in my dream. 

4- A woman, unknown to me was trying to convince me to teach yoga again.

When I awoke, I didn’t in the least feel rested, very much feeling faint. I was going to tap, and sat in the kitchen in the sun, allowing it to shine on me. I remembered the honey from my dream, had a spoon, and immediately felt better.

I resolved the issue with the person from my past, and so happy to detach, finally.

The yoga dream….? I will teach again, but not now. I see myself teaching yoga in about 20 years, somewhere in the tropics, with an ocean view. :) 

Creative juices started to flow, as I finally got my food blog up and running. No recipe as yet, but I did have to start with my personal “Food Manifesto,” something I wrote a couple of years ago, which still resonates  (most of it, as I've softened out since then- at least I believe so! :)).

I’m connecting with more beautiful people from all over the world. I like this phase a lot. 

I realized that part of my tiredness had to do with not cooking, and out of desperation, I almost posted on facebook, that I would go to someone’s home and cook dinner for them, and then I remembered my self-value. There’s a time and a place for everything- be patient. 

The quality of my food is like going to the opera, not the cinema.

Low and behold, I did get to cook in the end, as Yurai’s no longer on water. It was a simple lunch, but I got to play with food nonetheless. :)  A very productive and creative day, all in all. 

I'm grateful to be alive, to be in a state of love, with love around me- which I send to you <3. 

Notes from DAYS 12-15 of Body/Mind Cleanse - NO FOOD

Day 12

-Another peaceful night.

-Awoke refreshed

-Calm emotionally

-Slept 9hours

-Normal bladder movements

-Had a coffee for taste.

-No nap needed.

-No period yet, but last time I cleansed, I got if after two weeks – so much for down time! No -expectations, just going with the flow.

-When I “feel” hungry, I hop onto Pinterest and eat with my eyes, you’d be surprised how well that works, and if not, EFT helps. :) 

Was out and about today, and for the most part with normal energy levels. During the last cleanse, I didn’t go out much, but this time around, I feel it’s doable (not every single day, but doable). Needless to say, it was quite inspiring. After a meeting, Yurai and I met, and took a walk by the river before heading home together.

Cool dreams, again involving resolution with someone no longer in my life, ditching class to search for magical trees, which I didn’t find, but did pass by a young girl with glowing eyes. Upon returning to class, I overheard a teacher talking about my fairytale, Piyar & Soleil, and it’s author, in such a lovely way. When she spotted me, she urged me to come over and speak to her students… A nice feeling. :)

 The transitions continues, and my energy is increasing. Feeling good overall.

DAY 13

-Sleep was restless, after going to bed for the second time.

-Awoke in not such a great mood, did some energy work immediately, and let it go.

-Breath doesn’t stink as much (hallelujah!)

-Noticed a couple of pimples around the circumference of my heart chakra – a good thing – toxins are coming out, but if I don’t want pimples, more water today, and salt.

-Hungry? Not so much. Tomorrow marks 2 weeks, and I’d told myself that at the end of every seven days, I’d decide if I would carry on for another seven- yep. :)

I love food. Period. 

Becoming a regular thing to be physically tired, but mentally alert, upon going to bed. This time my eyes popped open and I got out of bed after midnight, having slept two hours and went online.

I was on pinterest (food, of course), and with the ideas sprinkling over me, came up with four new recipes, which I’m so looking forward to.

Though I do enjoy meat, I find myself leaning more towards veggies, legumes, cheeses, sprouts etc. Feels like it’s the thing for me to do when I do commence eating.

This is a far cry from my paleo days and ways a few years back where I’d awake at 4:30am to eat some form of meat before leading bootcamp at 6:45am, followed by more meat, and another bootcamp at 9:30am - followed by yet more meat, as quick as possible. As one old friend put it, I was a slave to food.

This whole process has allowed me to further strip away all the rules, and be ever more free to choose on a moments whim what and if I wish to ingest.

Later in day- Experiencing some cramping, with my oncoming period, and just feeling blah, so went outside for a walk. I was so tired though, and ended up taking a u-turn, to sit in a playground, basking in the sun.

Was there for a while, feeling, glum at first, and then I started to write. Eventually, I was scribbling down food ideas. Wait for it….

I went home feeling well, and having massaged my around my belly whilst outdoors, to ease the pain and I allow my period to come, it did, as soon as I got in - great - but the pain was back after a short while, and my mood dropped. I was feeling quite awful, questioning my life, feeling quite crappy - the whole nine yards - and decided I didn’t even want to do EFT. 

“Feel it all, feel whatever this is, and let it be,” I said to myself, tears and all. I fell asleep, and felt better for it.

Spending a great deal of time on Pinterest and food blogs, for what I can only call, research. Though I am incredibly hungry I think it’s a metaphor for my life:

HUNGRY FOR CHANGE.

DAY 14

-Two weeks done!! As I mentioned somewhere, I’m carrying on another week.

-Awoke later than usual and very tired.

-Period is heavier today.

-Out in the sun today, back in the playground, this time ready for writing. Did much over two hours. Very pleased.

Took afternoon nap, dreamt of two things, food and taking pictures, not of food, but just taking pictures. Dreaming of photography, not for the first time. 

Double whammy with the period. So very tired

Small bowel movement in the morning.

Upon morning meditation, I started to gain some clarity. I sat there in the warm sun, contemplating what I’m doing, and have done. Really, all I think about is food, second to which comes designing clothes, but I don’t dream about EFT, it's something that I just do, for my peace, (and with/for Yurai). 

I get it. If someone wants to change themselves, they’ll find a way. Why am I going blue in the face, not to mention, seriously broke, “trying” to help others? Just be. 

When I cook, I feed my soul, whether it’s a meal for Yurai and I, or his family, or friends. It’s always magical, because for me it is love, being 'in the state of love.' 

 I’ve been asked to cook for others and refused, just like when I was designing over a decade ago.

 I kept refusing because I was scared, despite constant requests.

 No one is knocking down my door to learn how to self-heal via EFT.

Yesterday I tweeted (before my mood had dropped):

“Incredible- day 13 of body mind cleanse w/ water & odd coffee, & no desire to eat. HOWEVER, I really want to create, play w/ food & cook! :).”

And in a following tweet: 

"Anyone want to loan me their kitchen so I can play and make you some seriously beautiful food…? Mind is rolling with ideas.”

Clarity. Clarity by removing all distractions from my life, and feeding myself with love through water. 

Been going over some of my food pics and writing down the recipes, not for a book, but for a blog. I know, I’ve been all talk and no action, because I’ve been trying so hard at something which isn’t going anywhere.

Whist out in the sun again, the name and intro to my food blog spilled out of my mind, onto the pages ahead. A very refreshing feeling.

DAY 15

Roasted red peppers used for spread. 

-Went to bed late last night and awoke early, fresh. With my period easing, I sense my energy is increasing, much like last time I did the cleanse, sleeping only a few hours and full of creativity.

-Sleep was peaceful

-Am very much looking forward to gardening with Yurai’s mom, and starting the cooking today for tomorrow’s lunch (in honor of Yurai’s name day ;) ).

-Food ideas are coming to me non-stop, the path is clear. 

-Sat and chatted with Yurai's mother, who's an absolute sweetheart, in Slovak. See below.  

What a day! I did no gardening whatsoever. We shopped for everything with Yurai's mother (she's over the moon that she no longer has to cook for family events, and I'm more than happy to have taken over :)), but I was extremely exhausted. 

Got back home, had a coffee, sat down for a few mins, and then nearly jumped out of my skin to get started with food. 

I prepped a light dinner for Yurai and his parents, which was just fresh bread with a couple of spreads, topped with alfalfa sprouts (will put up on the upcoming food blog for you), and then the festivities began for the following day. 

Herbed, pan-fried bread, with delectable spreads. 

I made chocolate ice cream, and most of the raw chocolate cake, prepared brioche (my first time making bread!!!!), and with sleep a distant idea, even cut up the onions for another first - french onion soup. I'd have started to make it, though Yurai's mom called it a night for us all. 

On a side note- I must say, she and I sat and chatted for quite a while, in Slovak. Only last week was I saying to Yurai that I'm happy with my level of Slovak and don't have a desire to learn more, but I was picking up and remembering so much. I really attribute my enhanced learning to this cleanse. By removing old gunk stuck inside of me, I'm left with wide open pathways for newness. 

Alas, having been practically ordered to get to bed, (nicely :)), I couldn't sleep, as I was cooking in my mind. If I didn't say it before, food is the way. My way.